So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
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this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
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For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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