Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
