New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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