dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
