he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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