Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
