i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Randomize