it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
