I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
