; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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