Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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