You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
