thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
