thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
