we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
