she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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