Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
