the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
