Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
