The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
