god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
