Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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