I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
