thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
