oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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