She's JV to your varsity
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
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