i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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