i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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