who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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