I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
it was like his penis was on wheels.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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