I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
