and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
