True but thats because hes a fetus.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
