Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
