Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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