HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
