gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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