She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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