I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
