So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
