My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
