I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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