I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
