I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
