I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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