I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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