they need to just BURY HIM!
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
