I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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