Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
im on a boat
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