She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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