the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
