This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize