He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
