I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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