i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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