he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
not ubering you a puppy
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
