i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
