you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
