In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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