Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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