Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize