If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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