i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
