i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
