if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
