doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
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