Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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