left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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